reasons why my diet will [always] inevitably fail

Spring break is always a big time of the year for dieting. Every year I set a goal and say, "by this time next month, I will lose 20 pounds." And no matter how many times I go to the gym, I never manage to hit that goal. And here are the reasons why:

1. I like to eat - for real. Who doesn't? I know that not eating is a surefire way (although unhealthy, I know! I would never do that) to lose weight. But seriously? Food is amazing. And therefore I will continue to eat it.

2. I like to eat exponentially more than I like to run - anyone who can tell me they love running is LYING! I don't care how in shape you are. It's boring and I can only listen to so many hype songs before I wonder why I'm still on the treadmill. I'm not going anywhere...if my body is going to be in pain there better be a damn good reason.

3. I do not ever want to look like a stick figure - sorry, skeletor. Being able to see all the bones in your spine and ribcage? Nottttt sexy. I don't want to look like someone would cut their hand if they touched me because my bones are sticking out everywhere. I'll keep some curves, thanks.

4. Guys at the gym = serious creepfest - therefore I do not like to be there longer than necessary. Yes, I realize that my pants are really tight, but so are everyone else's. Seriously - STOP STARING AT ME!

I Guess I'll Give it a Try

I have been reading a lot of blogs online lately. Most of them are anecdotal blogs with stories about the author's childhood or filled with random stories from the author's daily life. Personally, I find them to be hilarious and entertaining. I like hearing about the kinds of awkward encounters and funny situations that happen to people on a daily basis. Personally, I feel as though I end up in more of those awkward situations than anyone else on the planet...but maybe that's just me.

After being told by quite a few people (and yes, my mother is one of them) that I'm super hilarious and should look into writing I thought I'd give this whole blog thing a try. I do agree that I can be pretty damn funny and have a lot of awesome things to say. Hopefully I'll come up with some things that people will enjoy reading about. More likely than not it will be a lot of the stupid things that I say and do on the regular. Which brings me to today - giving my dogs a bath.

I have two miniature daschunds who, collectively, weigh less than 30 pounds. They're relatively small and I can pick them both up at the same time. Nevertheless - let me just say: dogs - 1, me - 0. I wound up with more water on me than either dog. But when I try to take my own shower? They love the water and try to jump in with me. Go figure.